Calm Down, Karen: What To Do When Patients Pop Off

Andrea (00:04):
Well, hi there. I am Andrea Watkins, and if you're listening to this, while juggling three patient calls, checking in a couple patients, taking a payment, selling skincare, and trying to catch your doctor in between procedures, you might be working in an aesthetic practice.

Blake (00:18):
And I'm Blake Lucas, and this is Practiceland. This is not Your doctor's podcast. Hi, and welcome back to Practiceland. So happy to have you here with us today, and thank you for listening. Of course, remember to share Practiceland with your friends and coworkers. Today we're talking about how to neutralize aggression and reestablished professionalism when patients really push hard. What are some ways patients do this, Jenna?

Jenna (00:45):
Oh, I have so many stories I could share. It does get easier and easier as time goes on. One of the ones that pops into my mind first is a patient I was treating who I felt like we did everything right in the consult. We set clear expectations. We talked about timeline. We talked about what we could achieve and what we couldn't achieve, which I offered her the surgical consultation as well. And I felt like we really had a good plan moving forward together. We did her initial treatment of doing the skin tightening device and she came back and she was like, I still have these lines, her smile lines, and she was upset. I was like, okay, well, just like we talked about before, we're going to do these other treatments, they're still not going to completely go away. I showed her the before and after ranges again for her to kind of see what the realistic expectations were. Got her back on board. She came back after her first gel treatment and was again upset and this time a little bit more. And so she felt frustrated that she had invested into her treatment plan. She wasn't getting the results that she wanted. She was worried that she wouldn't end up getting the results and started to get a little bit heated. And that can always get really uncomfortable when you feel like the patient is sort of attacking you because it is your work and you're like, well,

Blake (02:01):
Starting to get personal.

Jenna (02:01):
Exactly. We're on the same page. I thought we had the same idea of the plan and how long it was going to take. And so I had to prevent myself from getting frustrated with her and taking it personally because she started saying, I told you that I wanted this and you said, and a lot of that language, which can trigger you pretty easily. And so what I did, instead of responding and saying, well, I told you that it was going to take the song, I just let her give her whole story. Tell me her whole spiel. And what I've noticed when you do this with patients is most of the time, by the time they get to the end of that spiel, they start circling back to, and I know that you told me that it was going to take this long.

Blake (02:44):
They start remembering the conversation.

Jenna (02:46):
And they start defending you, right? Because they're like, all they really want to do is be heard. And what you really need to understand is they're feeling concerned about something. What is that true concern? Is it that they're worried that they're not ever going to get to their goal? Is it worried that they're going to throw away their investment? What is that true concern? And so once I hear all that, I kind of mirror back to, okay, it sounds like you're worried that after the end of this treatment plan, you're not going to get to your goal. Let's visit that. And she was like, yeah, that's it. That's it. So then we kind of talked about and reframed what it was going to look like for her, adjusted the treatment plan slightly and reprioritized. We sort of bumped some treatments around so that way we would kind of get her the visual result a bit sooner. But then she felt understood, she felt heard and she apologized. She's like, I'm really sorry. I know I'm not trying to come at you. I'm just feeling frustrated. And I didn't feel offended. I was like, I get it. You're investing your time, your money, you're trusting me to get you to this goal. I want to make sure we're on the same page, on the same team. So I'm happy to walk you through this at any point in time and just make sure we continue to be on the same page.

Blake (03:49):
I've had experiences in my life where I've been in that situation where I'm working with that difficult individual or they're just really upset in that moment. And I've had moments where I've had to shut it off. I had to get really firm and say, we're no longer going to have this conversation, and we've had to set a firm boundary, but obviously there's a line. How do you decide when to write it out, what you're explaining in your story there where you'd let them just vent and get that frustration out? And then when do you decide, no, this has gone too far and we need to stop?

Jenna (04:22):
I think everybody's boundary is going to be a little bit different. For me, there is a point to where I think you are allowed to express and be frustrated. So as long as we keep things respectful and polite and professional, that is always something I'm comfortable with. There have been times where patients have taken it a little bit further and maybe started cursing at me or raising their voice at me if I ever feel unsafe at all. That's something that I definitely draw a line at. And really just, if they take themselves out of a respectful way of handling themselves, that's when I'll sort of cut the conversation short and either say, I want to make sure that we both feel comfortable in this conversation. I want to make sure that we are both working towards the same goal right now. I can tell that you're frustrated.

(05:07):
I want to help you reach your goal. And depending on what has happened, either I'll go into the route of, this may not be the best fit. I want to make sure that I can help you find a practice that does support your overall goals and is able to create an experience that best supports you. Or if it's something that's really, really inappropriate, then that's typically when I'll just say, unfortunately, this is a conversation that's not making me feel comfortable. I'm going to go ahead and escalate this to my manager and we'll be reaching out to you for next steps. Because sometimes there's some things that you can be told. Yeah, this is too far. Yeah, exactly.

Blake (05:38):
Yeah, absolutely. And it's time to let go of that patient say, we're no longer,

Jenna (05:42):
We're never going to make them happy. And even if you could find a solution, that patient provider relationship has just been damaged at that point where, I mean, it's not their fault necessarily, but at a certain point you have to make sure that you can provide an experience that is going to support them. And sometimes that can be damaged.

Blake (06:01):
Yeah, absolutely. That trust is kind of gone on both sides. This isn't going to work. Maybe what are some of your go-to phrases when someone starts to get heated, but you're trying to keep maybe the door open or you're trying to keep that relationship healthy?

Jenna (06:14):
One of my go-to phrases is essentially to label, because what's so powerful about that is whether you're right or wrong, they're going to tell you. And so I think it's hard to sometimes if you just sit there and listen and listen and listen, some patients can talk and talk and talk and talk, and you're just going to be in there for two hours. So sometimes just listening isn't quite enough. But if you tell them if they're getting frustrated it sounds like, and you say, okay, well, it sounds like you're frustrated about X or it sounds like you're disappointed with Y. Or if you label that emotion for them sometimes or even they're concerned, they're going to either be like, you know what? Yeah, that's it. And that's a great point when they're like, that's it. You're right. That's a connection point. Or they're like, no, you don't get it.

(06:53):
This is what I'm mad about. And then it helps you further understand. So labeling has been super, super powerful for me. And then just like we talked about before, telling them and reminding them that we're on the same team. So say we both want to get you to the same goal, let's reset and make sure that that goal is clear to both of us. And that way it kind of gives them a point to be like, oh, you said reset. Obviously it's something that's not going right here. And that way it gives them a sort of checkpoint to check themselves a little bit and get back on the same page with you of, okay, you're my teammate, you're not my opponent, so let's figure out what my concern is and how we can both get there.

Blake (07:28):
Yeah. I love this idea of finding those connection points. It's like, where's that moment where I can come in and make them or help remind them that I'm on their side, that we're in this together. It's not you against me type of situation. I love that moment where it's like, let me label this so that you can agree to it, and now we're starting to agree on something, right? We're coming to this common ground where we can start to build on, rebuild what we're trying to create here. So love that. I find myself getting pulled into the emotional side of it a little bit more than I would care to admit. How do you keep it from getting emotional, getting defensive, but also still staying empathetic to their situation?

Jenna (08:13):
The best way that I have found is by setting yourself up for success. So like we talked about in previous episode, when you don't set clear expectations and you don't set yourself up for success, you're kind of screwed. You're going to know it's your fault and you're going to feel bad, and it's really hard not to feel that responsibility. But when you are so incredibly clear about what they can expect, what the timeline is, and you feel fully confident that they fully understood what the plan was, then you just have to remind yourself of that and remind yourself that what they're stating probably isn't their real concern. It's usually a smoke screen for something else. So reminding yourself that the patient has a concern, they don't really know how to express it. It's my job to figure out what that actually is. And so just digging a little bit deeper, mirroring, asking those targeted questions and then having it just always be your goal, going into those conversations of I need to figure out what that problem is instead of I need to fix it or I need to offer a solution first. I need to figure out what the problem is.

Blake (09:15):
Yeah, man, I feel like so much of this actually can fit outside of the professional world here. I was thinking about my own personal relationships with people, whether it's a spouse or family member or whatever it is. You've always been in those situations. And I think it's me personally, how quick do I go to solve a problem before actually acknowledging the problem?

Jenna (09:38):
And how many problems does that create?

Blake (09:40):
Yeah, it just escalates from there and you're like, well, I don't understand. This would've fixed the thing. And how difficult that can be, and it doesn't help the situation. This is amazing. I think this is great just for personal life, not just the professional. What's your approach when they start to maybe attack you personally and maybe your skill, your integrity? What is your approach for something like that?

Jenna (10:07):
That is a hard one to answer because in the beginning, there's not much you can do because you usually don't feel very confident as the more you practice, the more you get comfortable, the more confident you are in your skillset. And a lot of us know what our limits are, and there's a lot to learn for all of us out there, and we all have a lot of room to grow. But in the beginning, you do feel like there's so much ahead of you and so little behind you as far as your knowledge base and your experience that it's really, really difficult to not let that sort of stuff get to you because you know what? You're right. I'm not very experienced. But then you have to remind yourself, what have you invested into your education? What have you invested as far as your training?

(10:52):
Why are you doing this in the first place? Because usually those attacks are very superficial. They're not very well thought out. So you have to remind yourself, this patient's coming from a place of place of pain, that's a tongue twister. And you can always offer them to seek an outside opinion. So if you work in a practice where you have other providers, you can say, I understand that you may not feel comfortable with the treatment plan we have laid out. I'm happy to call in one of our other providers to kind of talk through some of your concerns, if that would make you more comfortable and choose a provider that is maybe a mentor, someone who supports you, and they can be in there in the room with you so you can see how they handle those conversations. If you are a little bit newer, and it's really, really empowering for you too, to have that person kind of back you up and be like, Hey, it sounds like you and Jenna discussed this.

(11:35):
Tell me what your concerns are. And if they're like, well, I wanted a result tomorrow. Well, you guys talked about, I read your note. It's going to take about six months to see these results, and it looks like you guys had discussed that, or is there a confusion about the timeline? And then you're able to see how they handle that confrontation, and it gives that person, the patient a little bit of authenticity of your expertise because that more experienced or seasoned provider is backing you up. Like, okay, well, maybe she does know what she's talking about and she's not afraid to ask someone else to come in here and give me a second opinion.

Blake (12:07):
Yeah, absolutely. There's confidence in that, right? It's like, Hey, I'm more than happy to have someone come in and analyze what I've talked to you about, and I have a feeling that they're going to support me in the same way. So that's amazing as we think about this as a whole. But what is one thing that you would want all of us listening to take away as an action item for us?

Jenna (12:31):
The biggest thing I would say is be confident in your skillset. Be confident in why you entered this field, and nothing is ever personal when it comes to patient concerns or things like that. I shouldn't say nothing, but it's rarely personal. And if you just don't allow emotion to enter it and remind yourself that you're on that patient's team, you are going to be able to move forward with them. And if you can't, there's red flags. Sometimes it is better to just sever the patient relationship than to try to fix it.

Blake (12:59):
Yeah, right. Well, Jenna, thank you again so much for joining us and spreading your wisdom and giving us some of these amazing action items, especially with today's episode. I think there's so much of it that our listeners can take and apply literally to the next consultation that they have. So thank you so much again, remind us where we can follow you online.

Jenna (13:19):
Yeah, I'm on Instagram and TikTok TikTok at Austin Beauty Boss. And on LinkedIn, I am there at Jenna Hennig, H-E-N-N-I-G.

Blake (13:28):
Fantastic. And of course, those listening, if you've got a question for Jenna you want to answer, send us a message@practicelandpodcast.com. Feel free to reach out to us there. But thank you for joining us here in Practice Land, and we'll see you next time. Got a wild customer service story or a sticky patient situation. Send us a message or voicemail if your tail makes it into our sheeted what segment? We'll send a thank you gif. You'll actually love Promise, no cheap swag here

Andrea (13:57):
Are you one of us? Subscribe for new episode notifications and more@practicelandpodcast.com. New episodes drop weekly on YouTube and everywhere you can listen to podcasts.